What Is Real Love?

Everyone is looking for love. But what does real love look like? How will we know when we’ve found it? Some think of “being in love” as an indescribable feeling that we fall in and out of. But the Bible, in its timeless wisdom, gives us a more meaningful and enduring picture.
Over the next few days, we are going to take a fresh look at the inspired words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Those who share confidence in Scripture will find that what one songwriter called “the bright elusive butterfly of love” isn’t so elusive after all.
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What the World Needs Now…

When Jackie DeShannon sang, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” a whole generation sang with her. According to the song, the world doesn’t need any more mountains to climb or rivers to cross. What we need is love, “not just for some, but for everyone.”
The theme of that hit song of the ‘60s strikes a chord that resonates in all of us. We buy roses & candy to express our love to our significant other. We raise relief money for communities devastated by natural disasters. We applaud the actions of people like 75-year-old Russell Plaisance, who tried to help a troubled family whose plight had been described in his local paper. Russell brought money, food, and toys to a local motel where the family was staying. Unfortunately, Russell’s kindness was “repaid” a few days later when the father of the family pulled a knife on him and made off with his wallet and car.
Russell’s experience helps explain why the world is in desperate need of love. If love offered was always returned, there would be enough to go around. But love is not always returned. And sometimes when love is returned, we redefine it to fit our interests. Love means different things to different people.
Even in common conversation, we use the word love to refer to a variety of things. For example, I might say that “I love to play golf.” “I love fried chicken.” “I love my wife and children.” “I love the Pittsburgh Steelers.” When a word can mean so many different things, it may come to mean nothing at all!
The wisdom of the Bible is clear, however, in its definition of love. Writing to people afflicted by anger and conflict, the apostle Paul said:

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

Those timeless words were written to people who knew the importance of personal commitment and sacrifice. The Corinthian readers of Paul’s letter understood the value of faith, knowledge, spiritual gifts, strong leaders, and inspiring messages.
But in the process of trying to look after their own interests, the Christ-followers in Corinth lost sight of the goal of their faith and knowledge. They forgot that it is possible to study the Scriptures and yet miss the heart and mind of God. In their desire for fulfillment, they had forgotten what they needed most. We’ll find out what that is tomorrow.

Conclusion: So What?

So, what are we to do with Jesus’ claims about Himself? Do we even need to decide? Jesus declared, “Whoever is not with me is against me” (Matthew 12:30). In other words, neutrality is impossible. Every single person has to make a decision about this at one point or another. This simple fact confronted a man named Sheldon Vanauken after he had carried on a lengthy correspondence about Christianity with the great Oxford professor and author C.S. Lewis. In a book entitled A Severe Mercy, Vanauken wrote that he came to the chilling realization that he had to make that decision himself:

“I had regarded Christianity as a sort of fairy tale; and I had neither accepted nor rejected Jesus, since I had never, in fact, encountered Him. Now I had. The position was not, as I had been comfortably thinking all these months, merely a question of whether I was to accept the Messiah or not. It was a question of whether I was to accept Him — or reject Him. My God! There was a gap behind me, too. Perhaps the leap to acceptance was a horrifying gamble — but what of the leap to rejection? There might be no certainty that Christ was God — but, by God, there was no certainty that He was not. . . .If I were to reject, I would certainly face the haunting, terrible thought: ‘Perhaps it’s true — and I have rejected my God!’ This was not to be borne. I could not reject Jesus!”

Vanauken decided that there was only one thing he could do: “I turned away and flung myself over the gap towards Jesus.” He later wrote in a journal, “I choose to believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — in Christ, my Lord and my God. Christianity has the ring, the feel, of unique truth. Of essential truth. By it, life is made full instead of empty, meaningful instead of meaningless.”

The same decision faces each of us. Jesus challenges us with His claim that He is God in human form, the Savior of the world, and the source of life — both now and forever. How will you respond to Him?

Jesus Said, “I Am the Way and the Truth and the Life”

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes
to the Father except through me.”     (John 14:6)

Christians are often criticized for claiming that Jesus is the only way to God. After all, there are billions of non-Christians in the world. Are we really so narrow minded and bigoted that we think these people will be excluded from heaven just because they happened to be born in the wrong country or have been taught the wrong religion? A Rabbi I know summed up the feelings of many when he said, “I am absolutely against any religion that says that one faith is superior to another. I don’t see how that is anything different than spiritual racism. It’s a way of saying that we are closer to God than you, and that’s what leads to hatred.”
Those, like him, who make such objections have a point. If Jesus is merely one more religious teacher out of countless others, then his claim would be absurd. How can one person have a monopoly on the truth or proclaim his “way” as the only way to God? After all, humans are finite and fallible, while God is infinitely greater than our small human minds can comprehend.
But, if Jesus is, in fact, God Himself, that puts His claim in an entirely different light. An infinite being has the ability to say with certainty whether there is one God or many, and whether there are multiple ways to know Him or only one. Jesus doesn’t say that He merely speaks the truth; He claims to be the embodiment of Truth. He doesn’t say He can give life; He tells us He is the source of life itself. And He doesn’t say He is one pathway to God among many; He asserts that He is the only Way!
Earlier in John’s gospel, Jesus made this claim to the Jewish people who came to hear Him. They were some of the most religious people on earth. They worshiped the God revealed in the same Bible that Jesus read, and they were passionate about obeying His commands. Yet Jesus told them, “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life” (John 5:39-40). Later, He told the same audience: “If you do not believe that I am he, you will indeed die in your sins” (John 8:24).
Think about this somewhat imperfect analogy: The movie Braveheart described the exploits of William Wallace as he led the Scottish people in rebellion against the King of England. As Wallace’s victories became more numerous, his reputation greatly grew. Then one day he came to lead some Scottish warriors into battle who had never met him. He announced to the soldiers, “Sons of Scotland! I am William Wallace.” But one incredulous warrior exclaimed, “William Wallace is seven feet tall!” “Yes, I’ve heard,” Wallace replied. “Kills men by the hundreds. And if he were here, he’d consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning” (laughter from the soldiers). “I am William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here, in defiance of tyranny . . . Will you fight?”

Now just suppose they had replied, “We will not follow or fight for you. We will wait for the real William Wallace to appear.” Do you grasp the absurdity of that situation? There was no other William Wallace. And if they didn’t follow him, then their wait for another would be delusional.
In a similar way, the people of Israel had read about God in their Scriptures, but now He had shown up in person. It was ludicrous to think that they could reject Him and still claim to follow the God they had only read about.
On the same evening when Jesus made the claim, “No one comes to the Father except through me,” He added, “If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him” John 14:6-7). One of His disciples named Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” (John 14:8-9).
Jesus was not showing arrogance nor was He trying to foster “spiritual racism.” He simply stated the truth. There is only one God, and He became a man in the person of Jesus. As Jesus walked this earth, He showed us what He is really like and gave us the opportunity to truly know Him. We can wait for another to show up who is seven feet tall and has fireballs in His eyes, but there is no other. Jesus tells us plainly, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Reflect:
Jesus says He’s the Way. What He means is that He’s the only way. Sometimes following Jesus means giving up other things. What might you have to give up to follow Jesus?

Jesus Said, “I Am the Resurrection and the Life”

“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”     (John 11:25-26)

Jesus spoke these words to a woman named Martha after the death of her brother Lazarus, who was one of Jesus’ dearest friends. He tried to comfort Martha in her grief by assuring her: “Your brother will rise again” (11:23). Martha assumed that Jesus was referring to the resurrection of the dead at the end of time, and so she replied, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day” (vs. 24). But Jesus had something more immediate in mind.
Likewise, Martha viewed this future resurrection as something distant and remote. But she completely missed the fact that the true source of life and resurrection was standing right in front of her. Jesus boldly states, “I am the resurrection and the life”!
I’ve used this passage for many funeral messages. One time I was preparing a funeral message and I realized that Jesus is actually making two significant claims, although they are very closely related. His first claim is “I am the resurrection,” which He explains by saying that “the one who believes in me will live, even though they die.” Many people today believe that when they die they will live eternally as disembodied spirits. But that notion comes from Ancient Greek culture, not from the Bible. I assure people at funerals that even though their loved ones have died, they would one day be resurrected from the dead, and their bodies and spirits would be rejoined forever. That new body, however, would not be like the old one, which was subject to decline, disease, weakness, and death. Instead, as the apostle Paul explains, “The perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality” (1 Corinthians 15:53). Our current bodies are not fit for eternity. But our resurrection bodies will be immortal and imperishable.
Jesus’ second claim is that He is “the life,” which He explains by adding, “Whoever lives by believing in me will never die.” To those who attend funerals and don’t understand, Jesus’ statement that those who believe in Him will never die must seem hollow — maybe even cruel. Because even if a loved one has believed in Jesus, they still die!
But Jesus was not claiming that those who believe in Him would never die physically. Clearly, our bodies will die. No one gets out of this life alive! Instead, Jesus was focusing on the moment of death, when we draw our last breath and then die. I have always wondered what that moment will be like, and to be honest it is somewhat frightening. Mark Lowry sings a song that says, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!” I agree!
Yet, Jesus tells us in advance what we might expect, and His words are full of encouragement and hope. Even though our bodies at that final moment will die, everything else we are — whether we call it our spirit or soul or personality — will not die. Instead, we will make a transition from life in this world to life in the next world.

And in that very important sense, we will never experience death. Billy Graham once said, “Someday you will read in the appears that Billy Graham is dead. Don’t you believe it! At that moment I will be more alive than I have ever been!”
At the funeral of Lazarus, Jesus didn’t just claim to be “the resurrection and the life,” He proved it. He walked to the tomb where His friend’s body had been  for 4 days, and asked that the stone covering the entrance to the burial cave be removed. “Then Jesus looked up and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.’ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go’” (John 11:41-44).

Reflect:
How does it affect your view of death to understand the dying of the body as a transition from one life to another life?

Jesus Said, “I Am the Gate”

“Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”         (John 10:7-10)

Many people who live in an urban or suburban environment have only seen sheep in a petting zoo. But in Jesus’ day, shepherds and sheep were common sights, and John’s original readers would have been very familiar with sheep herding. They would also have been aware of the many Old Testament references to God as the shepherd of Israel, including the well-known 23rd Psalm, which begins with the words, “The Lord is my shepherd…” So the imagery of this statement, “I am the gate…” and tomorrow’s statement, “I am the good shepherd…” would have been very familiar to Jesus’ audience.
He begins by describing a typical first-century sheep pen and the way it functioned for both shepherds and sheep: “Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice” (John 10:1-5).
If you’re like me, when you think of a sheep pen, you would think of an enclosure made of either wood or metal. But in Israel, the most common material for a sheep pen is stone; usually large white rocks piled on top of each other to a height of about 3 feet. That is the type of pen that Jesus’ hearers would have been familiar with. At sundown, sheep were led into this enclosure to protect them from predators and thieves. Some sheep pens, including the one Jesus describes, were large enough to house more than 1 flock. For security, there was only 1 gate into the pen. A watchman, who was a hired hand, only allowed certain shepherds and sheep to enter that gate. If anyone tried to come into the pen at night by climbing over the wall, it was clear that he was a thief and a robber, not a legitimate shepherd. In smaller sheep pens, the shepherd himself would sometimes lie down at the entrance to the pen, becoming a human gate that protected the sheep from all intruders.
Surprisingly, Jesus does not begin this story by describing himself as the “good shepherd” but rather as the “gate” into the sheep pen. So, He’s claiming to be the one and only way into the pen — a theme He will repeat in some of His other “I am” statements. Only those sheep and shepherds who come through Jesus can experience the benefits of His promise:”I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (vs. 10).
I first heard that promise when I was young when someone gave me a booklet that told me, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life” followed by that verse. I would never have thought of Jesus coming to give me abundant life. Like many who had never read the biblical accounts about Him, I imagined that He came to make sure I kept a bunch of rules and stayed out of trouble. Or, possibly, He came to make sure I went to church regularly, and that I spent most of the rest of my time praying and reading the Bible — all of which sounded com platelets boring and the exact opposite of the life I longed for! Imagine my surprise when I learned that Jesus didn’t come to make me a religious fanatic but rather to give me a full and satisfying life. He promised to give me everything I truly wanted, and that caught me off-guard.
I’m not suggesting that Jesus doesn’t care about how we live our lives. His analogy of the gate, the shepherd, and the sheep makes that clear. Jesus’ sheep are identified by 2 key characteristics: (1) They realize that a full life, both now and eternally, can only be found in Jesus, and (2) His sheep know His voice and follow Him. Following Jesus involves not only believing in Him, but following His teachings, especially those related to loving god and loving others. But these commands aren’t intended to enslave us but rather to liberate us by transforming us into the loving, relational people God intends for us to be. As we will see in tomorrow’s lesson, the Good Shepherd truly cares about His sheep.

Reflect:
Jesus makes a claim of exclusivity — He is the gate. How do you currently compare Jesus with other religious beliefs?

Jesus Said, “I Am”

Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the One who glorifies me . . . . Your Father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.” “You are not yet fifty years old,” they said to him, “and you have seen Abraham!” “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!”     (John 8:54-58)

Throughout history, many people have thought highly of Jesus even while dismissing the notion that He ever did anything supernatural. Thomas Jefferson was one of those people. Jefferson even edited the four gospels so that they retained the words of Jesus but excluded His miracles and His claims to be God. In his writings, Jefferson always had high praise for Jesus, yet he refused to admit that Jesus could be God. He knew that Jesus claimed to be God, but many today who believe that Jesus was just a great teacher or a wonderful moral example are surprised to learn that Christ never made such claims. But what did Jesus say about Himself?
The Jewish people view their ancestor Abraham as the patriarch of their religion. According to their holy Scriptures, God told Abraham to leave his country as well as his father and mother to travel to the land now called Israel. The Lord promised Abraham the land and told him that his descendants would be as impossible to count as the stars in the heavens. Since Abraham lived about 2000 years before Christ, Jesus astonished His audience when He stated that Abraham anticipated His coming. They thought, “That’s impossible!” Jesus wasn’t even 50 years old and yet He claimed to know the thoughts of one who lived over 2000 years before He was born.
This is where the plot thickens. Because many of us are not familiar with the Jewish Scriptures (the Old Testament), we miss the original shock-value of Jesus’ reply: “Before Abraham was born, I am!” But Jesus’ audience knew exactly what He was saying. Jesus was talking with the religious leaders and people who were challenging His authority and accusing Him of being demon-possessed. Their statement here, “you have seen Abraham,” is both sarcastic and contemptuous.
When God first appeared to Moses in the form of a burning bush, Moses asked Him, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you’” (Exodus 3:13-14). In essence, Jesus is telling His listeners that He is the One who spoke to Moses. He existed long before Abraham was born because He is the eternal, everlasting God who has no beginning or end. He simply “is.” And in case we think what we’re reading into the text something that Jesus didn’t really mean to say, John’s gospel adds the following: “At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds” (John 8:59).
Why would they try to kill Jesus for making such a statement? We get the answer later, when they again tried to stone Jesus. He was in the temple courts when the people asked Him point blank, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly” (John 10:24). Jesus told them, “The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep” (vs. 25-26). Then He got their attention with a statement they couldn’t miss: “I and the Father are one” (vs. 30). At that, the crowd picked up stones to kill Him. “We are not stoning you for any good work, they replied, but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God” (vs. 33).
If Jesus’ claim is true, it changes everything. Throughout the centuries, many people have claimed to teach us about God, but their teachings often contradict each other. Why should we believe one rather than another — or any of them for that matter? But Jesus is different. He is not merely a religious teacher or even a prophet sent by God. He tells us He is the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. Our Creator came to earth in the person of Jesus so that we could know what He is truly like and not have to rely on religious speculation. No wonder people were astonished — and put off — by His teachings!
As we study the other “I am” statements over the next several days, we may be confused by the fact that Jesus prayed to His Heavenly Father. How can God pray to Himself? The earliest Christians wrestled with this. They knew that one of the most important teachings of Judaism was found in the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one” (6:4). In other words, there is only one God and all others are mere idols. Therefore, Jesus could not be claiming to be a second God.
The early church eventually concluded that they were dealing with a mystery beyond human comprehension. They called this mystery “the Trinity.” There is only one God who exists in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Throughout the centuries, many skeptics have rejected the idea of the Trinity because it seemingly defies logic. And yet, today we know that many scientific discoveries are beyond our comprehension. Light sometimes behaves as a wave and at other times like a particle. It cannot be both, but it refuses to obey the dictates of human logic. The “Big Bang” theory, (which I do not believe) tells us that the universe had a beginning, but science reaches its limits in trying to explain either how or why. And when we measure a particle in one part of the universe, that measurement instantaneously affects its twin particle in another part of the universe, because the two are mysteriously “entangled.”  It’s humbling to realize the limits of our understanding.
In the first sentences of John’s gospel, he stretches our thinking when he describes the mystery of the Trinity in the following way, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was god. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made” (John 1:1-3). John makes it clear a few verses later that this “Word” is Jesus. He wrote, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).

Reflect: Thinking about Jesus, if He is God, how does your perception of God change when you think about what Jesus said and did?

I AM THE WAY

In the movie Talladega Nights, race car driver Ricky Bobby begins to say grace at a meal with his best friend, Cal, his sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and his wife, Carley. Here’s how the conversation goes…

Ricky:     Dear Lord Baby Jesus . . . We thank you so much for this bountiful                     harvest of Domino’s, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.

Carley:     Hey, you know sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don’t always have to call                 Him “baby.” It’s a bit odd and off-putting to pray to a baby.

Ricky:     Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I’m saying grace. When you say         grace you can say it to grown-up Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or bearded                 Jesus or whoever you want . . .

Cal :         I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt, ‘cause it says, like, “I wanna be                 formal, but I’m here to party, too.” ‘Cause I like to party, so I like my Jesus         to party.

Walker:     I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

Cal:         I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle’s wings. And singing lead                 vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd, with, like, an angel band. And I’m in the front                 row, and I’m hammered drunk.

Carley:     Hey Cal, why don’t you just shut up?

Cal:         Yes, ma’am.

When you ask people today who they think Jesus was, their responses usually aren’t as outlandish as the characters in Talladega Nights, but they are still interesting. Some will reply that Jesus was the greatest teacher that ever lived. Others will call Him a wonderful moral example, a prophet, or even the Son of God.
But when you ask these same people whether they have read the biblical accounts about Jesus’ life and ministry, many will admit they have not. Those 4 documents, written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and known as the Gospels, provide us with eyewitness accounts of what Jesus did and said. If we want to find the real Jesus, it’s crucial to consider these written records.
Over the next week, we are going to focus on 1 of those records — the one written by John, and we’re going to look at 4 (of 8) amazing statements in which Jesus Himself describes who He is and then backs up His claims.
We’ll start with the first one tomorrow. See ya’ then!

Real Love “Does Not Parade Itself.”

Self-improvement books tell us that to get ahead we need to assume the look of success, blowout own horn, and play up our own talents. But real love does not brag about its accomplishments. It is not given to self-display. This concept finds ancient roots in the Bible. Pride was the first of all sins committed by Satan himself when he said, “I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the Most High” (Isaiah 14:14). King Solomon said it well when he wrote, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth” (Proverbs 27:2). Simply put, real love does not push itself into the spotlight.
This fourth description of love is the other side of the coin from a love that is not envious or jealous. Jealousy wants what someone else has; bragging tries to make others jealous of what we have. Jealousy puts others down; bragging builds ourselves up. Real love, however, not only applauds the successes of another, but it knows how to handle its own wins with grace and humility.

Real Love “Is Not Puffed Up.”

The Greek word Paul uses here means “to puff oneself out like a bellows.” In describing what real love is not, he chose a term he used earlier when he encouraged the loveless Christians in Corinth not to “be puffed up on behalf of one another against the other” (1 Corinthians 4:6).
In that earlier passage, Paul described the Corinthians as being so full of themselves that they had no room to feel the pain of others. Now, here in chapter 13, he used the same word picture to show that the arrogance that makes us unwilling to receive the help of others also makes us insensitive to those who need us.
Puffed-up people, full of themselves with an exaggerated sense of their own importance, assume that their happiness, opinions, and feelings are the only ones that matter. Puffed-up people find it easy to dismiss the needs and feelings of others.
One place we might look to see if we have a puffed-up sense of our own importance is in our prayers. Do we pray only for ourselves and our own interests, or do we also pray for the concerns of others?
The New Testament’s view of real love does not teach us to neglect our own needs. It simply instructs us to remember that our interests are not more important than the interests of others.
The next 2 descriptions of love will come tomorrow.

Real Love “Does Not Behave Rudely.”

The only other New Testament occurrence of this expression is found in 1 Corinthians 7:36, which describes the relationship between an unmarried couple. Various translations render it as “not behaving unseemly, unbecomingly, rudely, unmannerly, or indecently.” While emphasizing the highest priority of devotion to God, Paul went on to say that if a man and a woman found themselves faced with sexual temptation, they should marry rather than “behave improperly.”
How does “behaving improperly” relate to the principle of real love referred to in 1 Corinthians 13? It reminds us that the honorable nature of real love will never make inappropriate demands of others. Real love will never prompt an unmarried person to say, “If you love me, you’ll prove it by giving yourself to me.” Those who love will never ask others to prove their loyalty by lying, cheating, or stealing for them.
Real love does not use a friendship to pressure anyone to do something contrary to the principles of their conscience or faith, or the moral principles of God. The worst acts of sexual indulgence, the most hideous acts of cover-up, the most depraved secrets of family, gang, group, or friendship have been held under the misused name of love. Real love is never a tool of coercion.

Real Love “Does Not Seek It’s Own.”

This is a favorite expression of Paul to describe selflessness. It speaks of the person whose focus is outward. In Philippians 2, Paul expressed the principle of real love this way: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in low-liness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (vs. 3-4).
Paul’s great passion for those who have taken the name of Christ is that they be unified, of one mind. Yet this oneness will never be  a reality in a church, a marriage, or any other relationship until we look out for the interests of others with as much care and effort as we look out for our own. Paul even said that real love puts the needs of others ahead of our own.
This self-sacrifice flies in the face of our human nature, yet it expresses the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5). He humbled Himself to leave His Heavenly Father, to live in the limitations of a physical body, to walk  the earth in poverty, to be a servant to people who would reject Him, to wash the feet of disciples who would betray & abandon Him, to die on the cross for the sins of people who did not deserve Him. Jesus’ entire life was an example of putting others ahead of self.

Tomorrow we will have the next 2 descriptions of real love.