Disordered Loves

“People are slaves to whatever has mastered them.”
-2 Peter 2:19-

“When Momma’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy.” It’s kind of a funny old saying, but you know it’s true. Regardless of whether you’re a momma yourself, I’ll bet you have firsthand experience of the power of an unhappy momma over the mood of the rest of her family. And the opposite is also true. Sometimes the reason Momma’s not happy is because she has allowed other family members to dictate her frame of mind. Everyone — moms and dads and kids — can give up too much control to others, allowing somebody or something besides God to steer their emotions up or down.
Who’s first? God or your troubled teenager? Who’s in charge? The Prince of Peace or your two-year old tantrum thrower? Do your family member’s issues and outbursts command too much of your attention? Of course we are to love our families. But if a family member consistently has control of our mindset and our emotions, it may be an indicator that God is being replaced. Jesus tells us, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters — yes, even their own life — such a person cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). In Jewish culture, hate was used to express “a lesser form of love.” What Jesus is saying is that our love for God should far eclipse our love for our families.
The early Christian leader Augustine coined the term “disordered loves.” He was talking about legitimate objects of love that have fallen out of order, much like a mis-buttoned shirt. Loving and honoring your parents is a good thing, even one of God’s top ten commands. Loving your wife or husband is a really good thing, even a way that we imitate the heart of Jesus. But the centrality and sheer magnitude of our love for God, expressed as worship, can only be applied in one direction. God won’t share the throne of your heart with your spouse, your children, or your friends. But he will not commandeer your “disordered loves.” Instead, like the perfect Father he is, he will wait patiently for you to return to your first and best love.
Then and only then will you be free to love others well. Or let me say it this way: We love others best when we love God most.

DENYING TODAY
What person or people matter most to you in this world? Is there a relationship in your life that seems to be the determining factor in whether you are happy and joyful or sad and depressed? Can you find disordered loves in your family relationships? Repent for your misplaced relationship priorities and ask the Lord to help you shift your top priority back to Him.