A Troubled Response
Have you ever wondered if the prize is worth the pain? Asaph expressed a similar concern in his song, Psalm 73: Is life worth it? Does it really matter that I have tried to live for God? That anguished question is clearly seen in vs. 13: “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure and washed my hands in innocence.” Asaph’s despair is clear. His anguish captures the essence of Solomon’s despair in the book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon describes the futility of his efforts to find meaning; he considered life from an earthly perspective. When he cried, “All is vanity,” he was reflecting on the value of life (1:2).
Asaph strived for personal integrity and faithfulness. But now, in his despair, he wondered if his efforts had been pointless. The tremendous weight of resentful anger lies behind those words in vs. 13. When it seems as if God is not in control, our doubts can make us want to give up. Asaph became so disillusioned that he felt integrity and morality just weren’t worth it.

Asaph’s Fear
The Four Feathers tells the story of Harry Faversham, a young man in the British army in the late 1800s. During that time, when the British empire touched every continent, a man could bring no greater honor to his family than to serve in the military. Harry answered this calling and earned respect in his regiment. Then came the day his unit received word that they were being deployed to put down an uprising in the Sudan. Harry was terrified. The thought of combat and the horrors of war paralyzed him with fear.
So Harry resigned his commission. The impact on his life was incredible. Rejected by his 3 fellow officers, they each sent him a white feather — their symbol for cowardice. His fiancée, who longed for him to be a hero, broke up with him and also sent him a feather. And he was estranged from his father, a military man, who declared that he didn’t even know Harry. One single, fear-filled choice had a powerful, destructive impact on all the relationships in Harry’s life.
Asaph was David’s chief musician, a man of spiritual influence, a songwriter, and a prophet (1 Chronicles 16:5; 25:2; 2 Chronicles 29:30). Such a position entailed both privilege and influence. He was a spiritual leader in Israel and felt the weight of that responsibility. Yet, he found himself doubting the goodness of God.
Notice Asaph’s reaction to his revelation in vs. 15: “If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ Behold, I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.” He wanted to shout his disapproval of God’s handling of life, but he stopped short. Poised at the edge of a canyon of disbelief and hopelessness, something slowly began to pull him back from the edge. But what was it?
We’ll find out tomorrow…