Randall Evans From the desk of Pastor Ben,
Friendship
The person who has a good friend and is a good friend is a very rich and fulfilled person indeed. A good friendship should display these characteristics:
1.) Good friendship is selfless. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that “a friend loves at all times.” True friendship therefore is not based on changing conditions. There are people who say, “I’ll be your friend if, or when, or until, or because.” These are all conditions, and conditions may change. But a real friend loves at all times. A friend who says, “I love you if…” or “I love you when…” is not a Bible kind of friend. A true friend says, “I love you, period. I love you at all times. My love is selfless and unconditional.”
2.) Genuine friendship is steadfast. Again, Proverbs 17:17 says that “a friend loves at all times.” An English publication offered a prize for the best definition of friendship. One definition that won honorable mention was this: “A friend is one who multiplies our joys and divides our grief.” Another one said: “A friend is one who understands our silence.” But the definition that won the prize was this: “A friend is one who comes in when the rest of the world has gone out.” How true that is! If you want to really know how many friends you have and who they are, make a mistake and see what happens. Get into difficulty and see how many supposed friends stick with you. True friendship is steadfast.
3.) True friendship is sacrificial. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” True friendship is costly, but it’s worth it. The Indian word for friend comes from a compound word meaning “one who carries my sorrows upon his back.” So, if I would be a friend, I have to live sacrificially toward the one who is receiving my friendship. We need to think of others first.
4.) True friendship is sanctifying. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” A real friend will make you a better person. True friendship is going to put the edge on your life; it’s going to sharpen you. It will make you more keen. You’ll be a better and more useful person because of the friendship. A true friend doesn’t just tell a person what he thinks he wants to hear — he tells the truth — even if it hurts.
True friendship will not blunt your influence or dull your spirituality. A real friend is one who cares enough to confront you when you are wrong. Proverbs 27:6 says, “The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Flattery is not friendship. A flatterer is the flip side of a hypocrite: A hypocrite says behind your back what he will not say to your face, but a flatterer says to your face what he will not say behind your back. A true friend, by contrast, is honest with you.
The big question is, “Do you have a friend like this?” But an even more important question is, “Are YOU a friend like this?”